I, like most PhDs, suffered from imposter syndrome where I didn't feel like I belonged in the programme and didn't know as much as others. It was particularly tough for me as I was self-funded (thanks to my parents), and believe that far better people who wanted to do PhDs never managed to because they couldn't afford it/get funding. Nowadays, it feels much the same as I apply for jobs that I think there are better applicants for. I was spoilt by applying for only 2 jobs last time, getting 1 interview, and that one leading to my current job which is rapidly coming to an end.
I cannot really complain as I am a young person (both age and career wise) on the scene, but at the same time I am finding the whole process disheartening. The worst moment (so far) was when the grant I helped write was rejected, as it is the area I want to work on when I get a permanent job/my own lab. Otherwise it's much the same as other careers, lots of applications (and lots of rejections), maybe a few interviews, and hopefully a job at the end. The big difference is the few jobs are scattered around the world, on a range of subjects, so trying to find one that is a good fit is exceedingly difficult. It would also be nice though to have a permanent job and consider settling down as well, but all things take time, and I can't be so fussy. I saw this cartoon today, and it made me chuckle:
|Credit to an unknown Facebook user for this|
I appreciate this has been an unusual post compared to most of my blog, and thanks anyone who has read these musings and worries. I guess I should stop writing the blog with my fears and worries, and get back to work and job applications!